Bicycle Cards

Cards - I dunno I just like them. 

Why is the joker on a bicycle? 

Why is the company called Bicycle? 

I looked on the website but they did not tell me. 

Hard times.

I looked at the spelling of the word "bicycle" for too long. 

Now its meaning is nothing.

That text above looks kind of like a spade and if I was in the mood for some e.e. cummings nonsense I would turn it into one.

Fabulous Newton

Newton. Calculus. Less than any given damn. That's what I have to say.

Also this great picture that I found:

Newton: "Ah yes! All the discoveries I made about what happens to light when it travels through an apple. I'm so proud that my work has been boiled down to this."
Artist somewhere: "You like it? Thanks! I just wanted to make sure that I included your important contribution about apples here in the picture. I don't really know what that triangle thing was before but it seemed unnecessary so I just replaced it with something you're famous for! YAY! (ad infinitum exclamation points)

Jane Eyre

Because who doesn't love some stormy potentially haunted and dark romance? 

Jane in School.

St. John is a lame-o.

Not getting stuff done and the Facebook refresh button

This is the unsung and not epic story of my regular weekends. I should really make one for imgur as well since I spend even more time on that.  

(imgur: noun def. time eating vacuum of a website). Ex: I spent the last forty days and nights on imgur.

A bad pie joke

#sorrynotsorryImalittlebitsorry

Easter Egg Hunts

Pshaw.
Youths these days.
All the Easter egg hunts I have seen recently looked something like this:

The eggs aren't even slightly hidden at all they are just poured out all over the grass like someone hid them by pouring thousands of them into an automatic pitching machine. The kids gather around the field of corn-syrupy dream in hordes and as soon as they start there is an elbows out lord of the flies free for all. What is the world coming to?

If I was hiding the eggs at least some of them would be hard to find, like you know behind something even.

Exhibit A: I would tie an Easter egg to the leg of a menacing looking falcon. Challenges build character.

PS and also: Jelly beans are gross. I know that some of you out there like jelly beans...whatever you're wrong. Of Jelly beans (all gross) the grossest are Brach's.

That's right typewriter not computer, typewriter. Next year introducing: lavender colored bellybutton lint flavored jelly beans! Thanks Brach's!
*someone recently brought a bag of brach's jelly beans to a game night and it was indeed confirmed that "toothpaste" and "all spice" were actually what they tasted like. Someone said, "if you help the mission succeed then you can eat a jelly bean...wait no...if you fail the mission then you have to eat a jelly bean"... the off brand cleaning product taste that every villain deserves.