Wanting to put my face straight in the air conditioner level = 100%
I stopped to think about it and I realized that I have been to the beach the last three weekends.
Last time I was at the beach with my friends I was suddenly bored of lying around like a banana slug trying to get a tan - so I decided that I wanted to build a sand castle and proceeded to enlist various other individuals who were significantly less enthusiastic about my architectural ambitions.
We started building a castle / pile of sand.
Friend: "This is Mordor."
Me: "Oh boo. Can't it be something nice?"
Me: "This is why we can't have nice things- because we turn them into Mordor."
Friend: "Shut-up. You are building Barad dur. I will make Cirith Ungul and a moat."
Thus the image of Sauron on the beach wearing a floaty and worrying about potential sand and water damage to his armor appeared in my imagination.
(How is Sauron's armor not deflating that floaty? The floaty's love and adoration for Sauron keeps it alive. Look at the sparkle in its eyes.)
Sandcastles are difficult to make.
(after a good while my Barad dur was still lump-like in nature and altogether unimpressive)
"Your Barad dur sucks.
It needs to have definitive architecture.
It needs to be taller."
Me: "WELL I KEEP DESTROYING MY DEFINITIVE ARCHITECTURE TO MAKE IT TALLER! I CANT DO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME. STOP BEING SO DEMANDING SAURON."
Friend: "Your evil kingdom architecture ability does not live up to what you said about yourself on your resume. This is the last time I let an orc do anything which requires even mediocre wit."
As it got later our sandcastle (sand-very small mountain) began to get continuously smashed by larger waves. (that is the fun part). After one of these waves hit and flooded our moat I over-dramatically yelled "Noooo!" And furiously threw buckets of sand and water out of the moat.
Two older ladies were walking by - they looked at me for a minute- saw a huge mid-twenties person building an unimpressive sand castle with comic fervor and started laughing. I laughed with them.
Lastly there was this awesome kid there- who did this:
(So Poseidon usually has feet and Triton is the one with the merman tail but I wanted to draw one for the sake of fun - stop whining mythology die-hards.)
However - we do not threaten the gods especially Poseidon because:
1. The Odyssey - do not piss Poseidon off by messing with his one eyed son. Not that he was in to big rush to get off that island - Odysseus: "Poor me. I am having such a terrible time cheating on my eternally faithful wife with this Nymph Calypso. I just can't stand it anymore." boo-hoo.
2. Hippolytus - If you send Poseidon to kill your innocent son he will freaking do it okay? Don't mess with him.