Crayons

On the internet I once came across a glorious insult which was "gets less action than the white crayon".

However, action could be terrible for crayons - crayons get their heads scraped off by enthusiastic kindergartners. Imagine what it would be like to be a crayon.

Scenes of terror and trauma:

Thus, the white crayon is actually the luckiest. 

Here he gloats over the injured crayons that teased him previously:

Some other imaginary conversations between crayons:
Olive Green Shouts instructions to the other crayons in a Drill Sargent voice:

OLIVE GREEN : "That's the recess bell run for it!
Dear Lord Shocking Pink, why on earth are you running towards the Pencil Box ?!?
That is the worst place to hide! They should call her barbie pink, stupid as a...
Periwinkle! Hop to it!
You are the slowest cuss of a crayon I have ever seen in my life.
Hurry up! Get in the very back of the desk with all that stuff nobody cleans out till June."

SEA GREEN: " I'm not gonna make it Olive Green! I can't get there fast enough."

OLIVE GREEN: "Just jump off the desk and roll, roll, roll until you get under a cabinet or something!"

UNMELLOW YELLOW: "ugh! Olive green, it is dark back here and there is a rotting apple and a plethora of eraser bits."

OLIVE GREEN: "Shut your whiny mouth unless you want to participate in craft time and have your head scraped off by some first grader. I wouldn't see it as a loss you twit."

WISTERIA PURPLE: "Here is a chewed up pencil Molly lent to Timmy."

ROBIN'S EGG BLUE: "Never lend a pencil to Timmy. How ya doin' Steve?" (in other news every elementary school class has a Timmy.)

STEVE (the chewed up pencil): "Alright. Hideous as crap though...cussing Timmy."

These are real crayon color names, I have a box right here.