Sunday, November 22, 2015


I forgot to post these ghosts from Halloween I <3 <3 <3 them okay?
Also it's never too late for Halloween.
It's Halloween forever in my soul.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015


Crushes are the worst nobody needs them.
I especially do not need to relate to a person like they are the Trader Joe's chocolate I cannot live without (Dark, no not 75% that shit tastes like battery acid, no milk chocolate is anathema). I am fine and well can the democracy of  my mind and body (hahaha democracy ha more like tyranny ruled over by a triumphant bag of goldfish crackers) please decide against this nonsense it is a time and life waster more virulent than television.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Scratches the Cat

More diary comics, this one is about a semi feral cat that would come in the house and hang out. He liked me except for when he didn't.

I have since met a cat (named Pickles) who is desperately affectionate and I vastly prefer Scratches' loving indifference.

Monday, September 14, 2015


This is a quick comic about my first couple days in Florida which involved:

  • sweating
  • roaches 
  • more sweating
  • larger roaches 
  • sweat stain possibilities that were hitherto unknown to me
  • humidity nausea 
  • and sleeping in the back of a car to avoid roaches

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Thanks for coming to this meeting

 Hey thanks for coming to this meeting Liz.

Yeah. (shifts hands nervously on the surface of the coffee table)

We just wanted to talk to you about some things that we think you could be doing a little better to help us reach our company goals.

Ok. (Damn it. Not okay. They are saying that you suck because you do suck. Try to listen to them just roll with it)

Right, well, this is really the most important one, we think that you could feign an interest in TV shows.


I mean, it is a problem that you've only seen one episode of Game of Thrones and you don't tweet about a single TV show. We have really gone to a lot of effort to make you blend in physically and I think that it's really important that you fit in emotionally as well. Humans would probably die for TV shows and if we could figure out a way to harness that power, I mean, our job here would really be done.

That makes sense, it does. Um is okay for me to like pretend to care or do you want me to try to really care?

See that's part of the problem, asking a question like that seems to indicate that you aren't fully committed to our mission.

No. No, I am certainly committed to our mission, the number of human beings who let subservient animal species defecate on my lawn! No, their race is just so ready to be obliterated. I'm committed. I just want to be convincing and I want to know if it's possible for human beings to not tweet about tv shows because if it is maybe I could be one of those people, and not have to fake it?

It's not possible. Sometimes, what is it? Oh yeah! They say, "fake it till you make it". Can you try that?


Saturday, August 8, 2015

A letter to Spiders

Please send this message to all of the spiders that you know and I am sure that this problem will be cleared up immediately!  I have added a chart just in case the spiders have some questions.

P.S. Letter also applies to cockroaches. Thanks.

This request is brought to you by teaching a class in an old church's reception hall.

A recipe for personal challenge and critter heebie jeebies:
If you think that you are a strong person who can deal with the challenges of life and maybe pick up heavy things then you will enjoy my favorite recipe for finding out that: 1. you are in fact a coward and  2. you would like other people to smush offending things for you 
Pairs well with a side of bug and arachnid related nightmares.


1 Large Black Widow
Killed by me without hesitation. Hey, I am a champ! I am up to any challenge.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015


A green or slightly off yellow monster.
I don't know your life but I think I want it for some reason.
The you that I made up is perfect.
I am so jealous of that you.
You are probably nothing like you in real life. You probably do things that you don't want to like  make dentist appointments, eat kale, and floss. You probably read half way through books that you really should have read forever ago and then quit (Cough* Anna Karenina).
Who knows? Maybe you are perfect and your life is a never ending serenade sung by dolphins but I doubt it.