Thursday, September 25, 2014

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Just Job Things

Resumes, unctuous cover letters, and mundane questions are huge challenges for me.
Corporate speak galvanizes a small demon in me - I am immediately tempted to give silly answers.

Recently I was asked to respond to questions about my short and long term professional goals - these were my first three thoughts about how to respond. I thought they were funny so I wrote them out for you.

Filch is a grumpy-grumplestiltskins. I just made that up and I am proud of it. I have been reading a lot of Harry Potter - can you tell?

Why do people pay so much for sunglasses?

What am I doing with my life? 
No I did not actually turn any of them in. If I had that much courage I would probably be in a more interesting place right now - like prison or perchance the Weasley's joke shop.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Great Books Some Crooks

That is supposed to be a high five...but it looks awkward. It says lorenzbro on purpose.

Machiavelli wrote fiction and comedy too - isn't that weird?
Machiavelli: "and then at the end - all the losers trip into a tiger pit and die! HAHA"
Everyone else: "ummm...right. Dark sense of humor there."

Friday, September 12, 2014

Friday, September 5, 2014

Video Game and Pixel Art Attempts

I enjoy some retro-video games and newer games that look like retro games (VVVVV - google it fools. It brings great joy to all the peoples.) 
So I decided to try my hand at some pixel art just for you. 

Attempt 1: Bobble head Hellboy. 

1 Part effort drawing Hellboy - Equal Parts effort figuring out how to re-size the image. Google you Sphinx you!

I drew a birthday cupcake for myself. 

All this Pixel art made me think of old video games - and suddenly I had an idea for one so I wrote about it some.

The main character of the story is you as the boring Nobody No-onecareserson. This is your first year at Mundane University. Every professor has grey hair and wears a sweater vest. Absolutely every student is invested mentally and emotionally in the success of the school football team. Beer-Pong is the reason that the student body gets up in the morning.

You find the peach-pit of destiny under a loose floorboard in your dorm room and a narration voice tells you the story of Mundane University. Not so long ago the school was placed under a boring curse by a fugly godmother. You - the most typical of the normal people at mundane university - have been chosen to return mundane university to its former glory by expelling the evils of basic-bitchyness.

The game makes fun of you on many occasions.

And a proclivity towards normal objects which make unexpected things happen.

(* example: If you find whey powder and workout at the school gym while you are a princess you can go on a PRINCESS RAMPAGE to conquer Derek the Curmudgeonly Dragon.

Yes I know that the G in RAMPAGE looks like a C but I am too lazy to change it.