Thursday, October 30, 2014

Halloween - The Witches Stew

Guys - Guys guess what?! 
It's almost Halloween! 

 I am so happy about it that I couldn't help but write a silly poem. 





Halloween is my most favorite holiday.
Yes. Yes it is. Yes I like it better than my Birthday and Christmas. 
Here I shall prevent  arguments concerning the excellence of Halloween.

a. Birthdays are too stressful.
 Its about you but also it isn't. Your mom has been drilling that into you ever since your first birthday party when she reminded you that "you needed to pay attention to your guests" even though you invited most of the guests to increase the number of presents you would acquire. It's not supposed to be so about you that you get upset when nobody can do something. And yet everyone feels kind of bad and keeps apologizing for not being able to do anything. You feel pressure to throw some sort of party that you will probably not enjoy.
Halloween is about creepy things. And magic colors - like green, purple orange and black. Furthermore* it is the only time of the year that spiders are not so horrible.   

*It is a serious argument (or hastily written college paper) when one uses the word "furthermore".

b. Christmas decorations. 
Yes Christmas lights are nice. No those stupid cheery blow up Santas are not. There are too many placid faced darling little elf decorations everywhere. It makes one feel like they might barf up a glitter rainbow. Presents aren't as exciting when what you really want is for a fairy to appear and offer you dental insurance. Holiday spirit. I just don't really have it - I sometimes try to convince my family not to put up a Christmas tree (Me: "It will be at least February before we put that thing away!"
Tinsel. NO
Popcorn strings. MOLD
Mistletoe. PET POISON.
Halloween on the other hand I am all about decorating for. I have finally scored some black lights that work and I have the day off tomorrow to Halloween-ify my house. It's all I've ever wanted (Prince of Egypt).

c. No but I don't like scary things. 
Me neither. I can't watch commercials for horror movies. But I am strangely unaffected by mazes and Knot's Scary Farm type stuff. In fact, I like it and I would at give a pinky finger to be a haunter. 
Halloween has a cool thing to it a "guess what? we are the things to be feared" sort of thing. It's just a house. Just a fake skeleton. Fear is what we make it.

d. Dress up is something I am still not done with. 
Who doesn't want to be a superhero? Or Harry Potter? Or a streetlight? (some people are different.)
To be something or someone else for a moment is great.

that's it.
* That's not quite it.I am proud of that venomous tentacula. I think it is adorable.

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