Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Kid Archetypes: 3 Touchy Feely Kid

I keep thinking I am done with these and then viola!
More of them crop up and remind me of the often present...

Touchy Feely Kid
That one kid that has no concept of space bubble whatsoever.

I literally had a kid stand there and purposefully breathe on me.
Hot breath on my hand.
My soul was in a kind of inner anguish I am unable to express with words.

There are two kinds of touchy feely kid:

This kid loves loves LOVES you and expresses this by attempting to treat you like a conscious jungle gym. To this kid you find yourself saying, "Hands to yourself so-and-so. Yes. Hands to yourself includes holding my foot. Put it down."

This is the kid that grabs your arm every time they have a question. At first I was a little puzzled by this - and I was like "Why does this kid keep grabbing my arm? Why don't they just ask for help?" and then it came to me. Some when in this youngsters few years upon the planet they realized an important truth - it is is pretty much impossible to ignore someone who is touching you.  They subsequently learned to use this truth to have power over your attention. If I am talking to almost five other kids at the same time they can demand (and acquire) my immediate attention by grabbing my arm.
I am not a fan of this.

Some slightly related not so deep introspection
The root of my issue with touchy feely kid lies in a slight on going psychiatric problem. I don't like being touched by people for the most part.
It boils down to this. It weirds me out that other people are conscious beings. Does this turkey sandwich  care that I picked it up and chucked at an unsuspecting frenemy? No. No it doesn't. But then if you try to hold hands with someone you are plagued with instant doubts. Do they hate this? I usually hate this so I bet they hate this. They hate this. I am sure they also care about being chucked at unsuspecting frenemies. 
Too complicated. Too much guess work. I don't like it.
I certainly don't like being touched by people I don't know.
and I especially really really do not like being touched by people I don't like.

This person is not intended to represent anyone that I actually know. We will just say that I dislike her - probably because she has a bow in her hair - and she decided to put her hand on my shoulder. In response I  feel angry and hissy like an assortment of threatened animals.

Here is a simple chart. Notice the scarcity of the green area.

You know it is serious when Hogwarts gets involved.

Monday, August 4, 2014


I don't know why.

Yesterday I flagrantly disregarded the long list of grown-up people things I had to do and wrote this dinosaur comic instead.
Here it is.

and the moral of the story is- you need to pay attention in the mesowhateverific era (I may or may not have done exactly no research and I have no idea whether or not parasurolophus and T rex were even around at same time but I felt like drawing them so whatever).