Please send this message to all of the spiders that you know and I am sure that this problem will be cleared up immediately! I have added a chart just in case the spiders have some questions.
P.S. Letter also applies to cockroaches. Thanks.
This request is brought to you by teaching a class in an old church's reception hall.
A recipe for personal challenge and critter heebie jeebies:
If you think that you are a strong person who can deal with the challenges of life and maybe pick up heavy things then you will enjoy my favorite recipe for finding out that: 1. you are in fact a coward and 2. you would like other people to smush offending things for you
Pairs well with a side of bug and arachnid related nightmares.
Ingredients:
1 Large Black Widow
Killed by me without hesitation. Hey, I am a champ! I am up to any challenge.
1 Large Cockroach
One and a half inches-ish, killed by me as a result of my determination to not let all the kids see it. Mental mantra: I am the teacher, I am the adult here and I will take care of it.
That's a lot of guts.
Are they green!? Not cool.
1 Large Cockroach the Second
Large cockroach the second came right by my foot and died. It was not there one second and the next it was next to my foot on its back clearly nearing the end of its participation in the circle of life but occasionally wavering a leg like it wanted me to comfort it and hold its hairy foot whilst guiding it into the afterlife.
This was the end of my feigned bravery. If there are two large cockroaches, there are a million. Slight paranoia developed.
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