Supposing Truth is a Woman - What Then?

On this Sunday morning - day of posting, I had nothing to say - (a rare occurrence for me, it is more the case that no one else can get me to shut up) and so I started to flip through my school notebooks where I occasionally write down random stuff I think of and I found the following response to Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil.

First Nietzsche: 
"Supposing truth is a woman- what then? Are there not grounds for the suspicion that all philosophers, insofar as they were dogmatists, have been very inexpert about women? that the gruesome seriousness, the clumsy obtrusiveness with which they have usually approached truth so far have been awkward and very improper methods for wining a woman's heart? What is certain that is that she has not allowed herself to be won- and today every kind of dogmatism is left standing dispirited and discouraged." - (From the preface to Beyond Good and Evil)

I wrote a response to this quote in some sort of strange faux gangster lingo:

"Supposin' truth is a woman- what den?"

If truth is a homegirl - all you philosophers be trippin' cause you ain't eva talked to a woman. All sittin around talkin' about being itself. No woman eva going ta talk to ya neither cause you ain't got no jobs. 

Ya cant get a woman sittin around in the agora talking about beauty itself- ya gotta make some sacrifices ta get a beauty in the particular.

I give it to ya straight - women like shiny rocks, but they like sittin' at starbucks tellin' you all their problems even betta.

That homie Socrates, he ain't gonna get the truth no how cause he straight up ignoring his wife. 

But then again she has a cuss ugly name - Xanthippe!? What kinda name is dat?

Anways, if truth is a woman you betta believe that she gonna side wid yo wife every single time. 

Every single time. 

Dey gon make you get rid of the Xbox.

Dey gonna turn yo man-cave into a room for the baby that is pillow-mint yella. 

Deys also goin ta paint one wall of your living room "magic palace purple". And yo are gonna take kids ta Disneyland on yo birthday.

If truth is a woman philosophers best start buying shares in chocolate like ya would buy shares in Microsoft if ya could go back in times, cause ya gonna need a boatload a that stuff."

Oh the stuff that one finds in their school notebooks!

I had always intended to write a post about Nietzsche because his writing is fascinating. I found this task a little daunting because nothing I write could be more entertaining than just quoting Nietzsche himself, (especially his aphorisms) so I never got around to it.
But the other day I was reminded how much fun Nietzsche was when my friend read some aphorisms to us at breakfast before we went to work.
How could one not start their day with some sexism for good times?
Like this one: "Women are considered deep- why? Because one can never discover any bottom to them. Women are not even shallow."
I find this hilarious. My sense of humor might be weird.

It is funny to me that I like Nietzsche so much because he would hate me.
He is all about effeminate, vapid, beautiful women.

Nietzsche: Supposing truth were a woman....she would be nothing like you.

Me: Shut-up.

I feel like there should be a radio talk show called:
 "Bright and Early with Nietzsche" 
Listeners, welcome to Bright and Early with Nietzsche. Today's Aphorisims are:
Aphorism 141, "The abdomen is the reason why man does not easily take himself for a god." and Aphorism 175, "In the end one loves one's desire and not what is desired." 
"And now we are going to take some callers that have just realized they are in fact, horrible people. Stay tuned for Mark who believes Aphorism 141 is talking about beer bellies and Jim,- who says Nietzsche's 175th  Aphorism just showed him that he actually just liked chasing his wife, and he doesn't really like her that much. Ouch! Jim is headed for some trouble!
 Remember to tune in to Nietzsche...so that you can go to work feeling like you have made a horrifying self-discovery.