Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Laugh Kookaburra Laugh

For some reason I feel like giving this a thesis title.
 An examination of important connotations and questions about Australian fauna and wildlife which arise from the well-known children's ditty entitled the "kookaburra song": or in other words "why is this square headed bird the king of the bush?"  

And this picture I drew - which depicts a kookaburra with a purple Mohawk for some unknown reason.
 In case you forgot the words to this timeless classic they are here. You can be reminded of a song that you were very confused about because you had no experience of most of the nouns in question - except monkeys.
Kookaburra sits on the old gum tree,

Merry merry king of the bush is he.

Laugh, Kookaburra, laugh, Kookaburra,

Gay your life must be!

Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree

Eating all the gumdrops he can see

Stop, Kookaburra, Stop, Kookaburra

Leave some there for me.

Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree,

Counting all the monkeys he can see

Stop, Kookaburra, Stop, Kookaburra,

That's no monkey, that's me.
Let the barrage of questions commence:
1. Does the kookaburra laugh?

holy crap that would be a yes.
Yes they laugh. They laugh creepily. Why am I watching these late at night I might not sleep.
He who laughs weirdest laughs less weird than the kookaburra.
2. What kind of laugh is it? Are they laughing at you or with you? They are chuckling about your midlife crisis.
3. Seeing as he is perpetually laughing should he not be dubbed "jester of the bush" rather than "king of the bush"? I don't know. That messes up the song's meter. Jester is too many syllables. Try to be considerate and understand the challenges facing children's song writers. Jeez.
4. What the cuss is a gum tree? Is it like maple syrup in any way or form?
It is supposed to be a eucalyptus tree. Kookaburras don't even eat eucalyptus tree gum -according to the infallible and intensive research I have just done on Wikipedia (which involved not even clicking on the Google search link but rather reading the tiny synopsis below it). All pending answers brought to you by the power of Google - long may it reign.
5. Seeing as it is not maple syrup in any way or form why would I want the kookaburra to leave some there for me? Do people eat it?
You would not want to eat it. It won't kill you, but it will make you ill-ish. It will kill your cat. Eucalyptus hates cats.
6. Kolas eat it. I can eat it too. Those are not questions. Kolas have developed weird digestive superpowers which allow them to consume strange toxins - because Australia is a mean place like that and to survive you must be able to ingest unhealthy quantities of toxins - much like a frat party.
7. Why do Australians insist on using strange words that present phonemic and spelling challenges? Kookaburra, eucalyptus...who named this crap. There are all together too many consonants in a row in the word "eucalyptus".
8. What is it that the Kookaburra is counting seeing as there are not monkeys native to Australia? Are the monkeys a figment of his imagination? How did his ability to number objects arise? Does it count as counting if he is counting no monkeys because there are none of them?
And in response we shall offer this generic beginning to every academic essay: "For thousands of years literary analysts from varying cultures and backgrounds have pondered the meaning of the classic folk kookaburra song." blah blah..
The author of this classic song must have been pressed for time during this last verse here- her favorite tv show was about to come on or something.

No worries Kookaburra that's not a monkey. Not a figment of your imagination - it's me.

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