Sunday, November 4, 2012

Kleptomaniacal Cheese Nibbler

In my college dorm we have a fascinating problem with Cheese stealing.

WANTED!! For heinous criminal activity, the notorious:

this nefarious individual
  1. Takes brand new Trader Joe's Cheeses from the commons refrigerator
  2. Without removing the wrappers takes one big bite of each cheese (probably including one big bite of plastic wrapping...) and then returns them to the refrigerator.
About 6 cheeses have suffered this fate
Some germaphopes have suffered fears that their cheeses may be bitten into by random and unsanitary persons (possessing diseases such as rabies and the like)

And this is what we look like in our outrage

 I think this requires a full scale man hunt, angry mob style

REWARD: if you capture the cheese thief you may have the pleasure of joining us in hoisting them up the flagpole by their underwear.

And making them wear demeaning signs.

I have several questions concerning this bizarre cheese thievery:
a) who does that??
b) who does that?
c) ew.
Yes “ew.” is not a question. Shut up!  

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