Sunday, December 16, 2012

A Hairy Foot's tale: The Hobbit

It is hard to be the hairy foot of a hobbit. Especially the hairy foot of an adventurous hobbit like Mr. Bilbo Baggins. Traipsing all over Middle Earth with nary a boot to be found, who can condone such shod-less behavior? My once lush toe hair is often frozen and has begun to develop unseemly split ends.
                                                                      The Complaining Hairy Foot of Bilbo Baggins.
P.S. My associate, the other hairy foot of Bilbo does not find our adventures unfortunate at all! What an annoying fellow.

I believe that that was my first time attempting to write a letter as if I was a foot.
This is a new experience for me. Yesterday, we finished a week of finals( in which I only threw Aristotle's Physics across the room once, only throwing one book across the room is a sort of anger management triumph for me). Afterwards we all went to see the Hobbit. It was fairly bad with some fun bits, it was so eclectic that I feel like writing a winners and losers for it.

(SPOILER ALERT!!!!- not that this can be spoiled for you because you have already read the book.
But anyway I might ruin it for you or something, and I don't want you to hate me forever.)
If however you have seen the movie and would like to share in its good and bad moments with me, here we Go.

DID YOU SEE THE PART WHERE I SAID SPOILER ALERT (All the warning symbols having been given: caps, bold, italics and underline. I am innocent from here on out.)

 Base harmony in the house! That house being Bag End. Why did they cut that off? what were they thinking? Do they sell that on itunes? I should go buy that right now.

LOSER: Pale Hand-less Orc with vendetta (can anyone say: obvious plot device? What about: "long scenes where Thorin and the Orc glare at each other" while everyone in the entire audience is thinking "who cut this film?")

the question of the evening was, "is there bird poop in his hair?" I had thought that it was moss, because....well because bird poop would be gross to have in your hair. I was wrong. Also the first scene with him and the dying hedgehog was odd.

LOSER: RADAGAST'S BUNNY CARRIAGE it is just too hard for a bunny carriage to pull off "epic chase scene"
WINNER RADAGAST'S BUNNY CARRIAGE it was funny, in a stupid way.

WINNER: Gladriel reading Gandalf's thoughts- that was cool until...
LOSER: Awkwardness between Gandalf and Galadriel - heck no, that relationship best be strictly platonic. Why did they go and do the weird face petting thing?


LOSER: THORIN"S HIGLIGHTS. What? Is he trying to take over Anderson Coopers established position as the silver fox?

LOSER: GOBLIN KING. No really that's gross.

WINNER: MESSENGER GOBLIN- I cant find a very good picture of this guy he is a tiny little goblin who takes notes. This is a model.

1 comment:

  1. oops I forgot some namely: WIN Golum arguing with himself again, its good old multiple personality syndrome fun.