Sunday, December 30, 2012

Facebook is a Creeper.

Facebook has been getting a little creepy lately:

Facebook you are a creeper.
Annnnnd... I just wrote a blog post in which Facebook proposed to me.
Is it even possible to get a restraining order against a website?

Contest: Make your own. Out funny me.
Directions: Hit Print Screen and use Microsoft paint.
As you can see I was too lazy to actually download the Facebook font which is lucida grande, so I used lucida sans unicode. Which is close enough for couch potatoes like me.
Life effort?= none.
Report card on commitment to excellence = none. Too lazy to download a font for proper spoof.

Additionally Facebook is giving unhelpful social advice. To answer the first one, "how are you feeling, Liz?" is a Facebook faux pas.
"I am really happy, because Grace had to do the dishes and I didn't"
"I feel sad. For no reason whatsoever. I am staring at a blank wall."
boring, boring...
"Why don't they ever have good t.v. shows on at the emergency room? My snapping turtle bit off my pinky toe."
Maybe I should do a series called "A Month of Lies", in which all of my status updates are completely fallacious.
Like "Bungee jumping off the Eiffel tower in a Barney costume! Could today get any better?"


  1. Facebook has always been creepy. I blame Mark Zuckerberg. The guy practically oozes it. He also oozes money. Thankfully, the second seems to wash away a lot of the sins of the first.

  2. What people thought Zuckerberg was thinking: "it would be really great to have a social community online"
    What he was actually thinking: "this will make it way easier to stalk various cute girls."
    Thus he created the ultimate creeper website for himself.

  3. haha! i love's so true.
    - former TACer/new blog stalker

    1. Awesome- I love stalkers! May there be more of them. I, internet blog stalkers...yeah not awkward.
      Joking. Anyway I am always pumped whenever people read Seize the Absurd, so please do and if you like stuff please share it with others!