In
My Life...
This weekend has been a little busy. Thus I am
just going to tell you about my life this weekend. As if this was an internet
diary that wanted to hear all about me, and not a bunch of people out there who
are very bored right now.
“Your
school doesn't have fraternities or sororities that is probably good because it
means that you don’t waste a lot of time on absurd traditions like
strip-pong-outside-in-the-mist-of-a-blizzard, right?”
Wrong.
I just spent my weekend building a boat out of cardboard for the sake of a strange traditional trivia
game.
Nope.
No crazy things here.
Other
noteworthy events in my life:
I
bought a bottle of whiskey that cost 40 dollars and a pajama onesie with feet
that look like foxes.
This is my first time buying one bottle of alcohol extremely disproportionate to my means.
It has its own printed wrapping paper, which says: “your money…is gone”
Its own cussing paper.
Look at the paper. |
Unfortunately the whiskey is not for me, it is to bribe judges during Trivial Quadrivial Pursuit.
Fortunately this means people will potentially help me pay for it.
I picked it using my impeccable judgment for fine spirits. (Which is also called: stalking a BevMo employee and asking which costly bottle of booze would impress some 40 year old dudes.)
Woe to self: the booze is not for me. "I am happy because I am poor, " she told herself. |
"Kiss me." said Glenlivet. "You are way above my financial level and illegally below my age level (aged 15 years), but I cannot resit giving you a kiss." she said. A love story. |
This
picture brought to you by Forty-seven dollars and seventy-five cents (oh my cuss really!!!).
I can still take this picture and imagine what it is like to be rich. Except
usually the wealthy wear deep red bathrobes made of something like the only scarlet
saber tooth tiger to exist ever, not onesies with fox feet and button eyes.
Lightly menacing. |
I am confused about the foxes, are these pajamas trying to insinuate that they are foxy? Rather, they appear to be the opposite of foxy in all of the ways possible. Imagine saying "hey baby" to somebody in this.....op. Hold on. Looks like I just found out what I will be doing next weekend.
Also
I made this:
Thank you Rebecca Lemieux for taking these pictures and putting up with my enthusiasm for this hat. |
Yes.
It is a shark costume.
There
is a dorsal fin, straight up on my head.
It
is made of cardboard.
As
soon as I made it I ran down the hall to my friends dorm room like a puppy that
is about to pee on everything from sheer joy.
I
was ecstatic, until I began to wonder if I had reached peak awesomeness as an
artist and it was all downhill from here. I might spend the rest of my pathetic
existence looking longingly back to this moment.