Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Happy Birthday To Me.
I believe that I have the potential to make a killing on birthday cards.
The cover would look something like the above naked man with some conveniently placed cake.
Or a carnivorous cake devouring party guests.
On the inside it would say something like:
I wish you all the open bars, and badcuss cars, in the entire world.
May the tiger in the zoo, be named after you.
and other nonsense.
Anyway today is my birthday so I thought that I would share this birthday card with you.
And also this story.
First of all, at 23 the best that one can expect on their birthday is the right to wear the same shirt as you wore yesterday (which is pretty much my idea of a good time, and I am taking full advantage of it).
However, today already is in the running for worst birthday ever.
Even worse than that one time my family went on vacation without me on my birthday.
This is pretty good....I mean bad....I mean good at being bad.
I managed to light my face on fire.
Before seven in the morning
Now that is talent
My hair and eyebrows are lightly singed in a chemistry explosion sort of manner and I smell of cologne de sulfur.
Now I get to run around singing F.U.N. 's fire song with slightly different lyrics:
"and I...I I I I.....I was du--u-u-u-mb, I set my hair on fire...I was on fire...la la la la laaaaa"
Happy birthday to me
I am dumb as can be....
the rest of it.