Friday, July 6, 2012

Diploma Envy

Early in May in colleges throughout the land there is an epidemic of jealousy caused by people graduating.
      Juniors are especially prone to Diploma Envy, this disease is also sometimes called Diplo-mania, by experts in the Senior-itis field.
         Having barely survived Junior year, these Juniors glare menacingly at the Seniors who are free as the cussing wind blows. One Junior is confined to a wheelchair kept alive by a Coffee IV drip, without which he would perish immediately.
         This is the way that it goes down at my school, which is admittedly one of the weirdest places ever ( 
  • Freshman year- nerds study excessively, party people party themselves out of school
  • Sophomore year- the nerds discover parties, the party people remain in school by studying with nerds during finals
  • Junior year- Everyone is grouchy. Everyone parties harder than ever (at my school this is in an attempt to forget that Kant exists. Speaking of which, I am gearing up for a series of angry cartoons that I wrote while we were reading Kant's Critique of Pure Reason).
  • Senior year- Nobody reads anything. Everybody spends all of their time complaining about reading.
This post is a result of my not-very-well-hidden-resentment towards this years seniors who I love...but not when they get to leave and I don't. Sounds like prison huh?


  1. Ermahgerd Liz, this comic is the best. You have no idea. I started resenting the graduating seniors at the end of freshman year... it just got worse and worse every year. I wanted to kick puppies. I wanted to punch Sean O'Neal. I wanted to scream. I did scream.

  2. and you know when they do that thing at the end of the year where they list off all the stuff that they have finished AND ALL THE STUFF THAT YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED...that is not my favorite. Also, the finals tally board.

  3. also I think I have this especially bad because I will have been in college for 6 years before I graduate. People are always like, "oh good you took a year off then" nope. I just have a billion more college credit points then one could possibly need.

  4. oh yeah the megaphone-assisted rant at lunchtime the day before the Newton final??? how could one forget that moment of exquisite rage? at that moment I shoved my noise-canceling headphones in my ears, turned my ipod to Muse, cranked up the loud, and resolutely glared at my book. I did not look up once. and guess what song came on? stockholm syndrome. it was beautiful.

  5. yeah I felt like I had it especially bad because I started out at TAC at 21... everyone was like "oh it's not so bad, your turn will come" and I was like YES IT'S BAD. I SHOULD BE GRADUATED ALREADY. WHERE IS A PUPPY. I WANT TO KICK A PUPPY.

  6. Stockholm syndrome is extremely fitting for the situation