Spanx, Shopping, and Lego Castles

Recently I traveled up to Oregon to attend a wedding. At weddings one usually wears dresses. I don't wear dresses, or girly stuff. Thus, I was blissfully unaware of the various things which one wears with dresses, like spanx.
Spanx are spandex shorts which attempt to squeeze all your fat into more attractive bulges. As expected this fails, and one ends up feeling like a whale in a corset.

I had to buy a ton of other crap too and I was reminded that I hate shopping.
My mom says that I don't shop...I hunt.

which is in my head looks like Mission Impossible style shopping

More like:

Bratz dolls are the worst...wait no, Furby that was the worst.
and also this:

sniff* glorious Lego Hogwarts how I wish you are not a hundred dollars.
Also now that I thought this up I am really pretty tempted to sneak Into a target and see how much of it I can build before they drag me off.