Spanx are spandex shorts which attempt to squeeze all your fat into more attractive bulges. As expected this fails, and one ends up feeling like a whale in a corset.
I had to buy a ton of other crap too and I was reminded that I hate shopping.
My mom says that I don't shop...I hunt.
and also this:
Also now that I thought this up I am really pretty tempted to sneak Into a target and see how much of it I can build before they drag me off.